Sunday, November 25, 2012

American Holocaust: Cleansing Fire

Hello Children,

I reckon you might been wondering of late why I ain’t wrote nothing about the Great Satan’s rise to power – AKA “President” Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s reelection.

The truth is I been biding my time, certain that my fellow Christian-Republican travelers would expose OBUMMER’S election night fraud for the travesty it was!

Apparently I been waiting in vain!

Where are the demands for a recount?! Why ain’t nobody yelling about ACORN stealing this here election for their crown negro prince?! How is it that ain’t nobody hollering to see Imam OBONGO’S Kenyan birth certificate?!

Unlike the LAST time he destroyed America, this election [BARRY SOETORO] successfully utilized the age-old LAZY BUM maneuver! That there is something us REAL Americans – i.e. Christian Republicans – recognize right away as good, old-fashioned MARXISM!

That’s the sorry truth, y’all: the LIE-BERALS and DEMONcrats in this once-great land have so ingrained sloth, envy, and outright GODDAMN laziness into 47% of the population that us job creators have at last been unfairly marginalized and stripped of our rights to impose our RIGHTEOUS will on the riff-raff!

Well I say, NO FURTHER

The time has come to stop running!

NOW is our time!

The top 1% of this nation – God’s Promised Land – are tired of being maligned and put down at every turn simply cause Jesus Hisself seen fit to bless US with wealthy parents and cunning tax attorneys!

Remember Matthew 25:29:
For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
Translation for you Democrats and Satanists (is there even a difference anymore?): we’re rich and you’re not because that’s the way the Lord says it’s gotta be!

Who are YOU to argue with our Heavenly Father?

Children, we best be getting ourselves a plan together and quick-like, cause even our fellow Conservatives – in their despair - are courting treason and outright ex-communication [HERE] and [HERE]!

We got REAL Americans like great patriot [RUSH LIMBAUGH] self-flagellating hisself [HERE], and even taunting from the LAMESTREAM MEDIA [HERE]!

But it gets WORSE!

Our fellow Warriors in Christ is losing heart [HERE]:

If the Christian message has been too wrapped around the axle of the Republican Party, then, A) that's our fault, and, B) we've got to rethink that," he said in a phone interview, which followed a pre-election interview in his office in Colorado Springs, Colo.

These are controversial views in Daly's world, and he concedes that they have stirred anger among some of his fellow conservative Christians. But Daly, who exudes preternatural cheerfulness, said he believed that evangelicals needed to win over friends, not make more enemies, and that the results of the election underlined the need to reach out to people with whom they have disagreements - including Obama - and seek common ground.


If’n we ain’t able to persecute others, then what’s the point of being a Christian?! 

But the worst I seen so far is this [HERE], wherein it’s obvious we’re losing even the 700 Club!!!

While I’m somewhat heartened to see the Gipper still retains first place, how in Sam Hill can these FOOLS even put OBONGO on the list?!



Us REAL Americans have played nice and tried cooperating for years! Ever time THE LEFT came to us, WE was expected to compromise! We NEVER imposed our will on the American public; we NEVER forced others to accept our morals!

But the time has come for us to put a stop to it!

What’s has playing by the rules gotten us? Another DEMOCRAT reelection!

Now is the time for bold, decisive action!

It’s time that every TRUE Christian-Patriot left in America now accept that we are left with no alternatives; we have been pushed into a corner, and we have no other option!

We must now institute nationwide humane euthanization…of ALL TRAITORS!

This was horrible as it happened to Jews! 
But if it happens to Liberals? 
That, children, is JUSTICE!
Now I ain’t going to play no political correctness word games like THE LEFT likes to do, so I’m just going to spell out for everybody what that means: HOLOCAUST!

Go on and say it. It ain’t no dirty word; it ain’t vulgar; it ain’t profane!

Just cause the stinking Huns once used it as a LEGITIMATE political tool ain’t no reason we can’t reexamine its effectiveness!
Why, GENOCIDE was even used by our Lord and Savior to clear Israel of the unclean and non-believers thousands and thousands of years ago [HERE]:

And we took all his cities at that time, and utterly destroyed the men, and the women, and the little ones, of every city, we left none to remain. Deuteronomy 2:34
And we utterly destroyed them, ... utterly destroying the men, women, and children, of every city. Deuteronomy 3:6
And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them. Deuteronomy 7:2
And thou shalt consume all the people which the LORD thy God shall deliver thee; thine eye shall have no pity upon them. Deuteronomy 7:16
Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword. Deuteronomy 13:15
But of the cities of these people, which the LORD thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth. Deuteronomy 20:16-17
And they utterly destroyed all that was in the city, both man and woman, young and old, and ox, and sheep, and ass, with the edge of the sword. Joshua 6:21
So smote all the country ... he left none remaining, but utterly destroyed all that breathed, as the LORD God of Israel commanded. Joshua 10:40
Thus saith the LORD of hosts ... go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have, and spare them not; but slay both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass. 1 Samuel 15:2-3

This is the proper place for the poor!
If it’s good enough for the Almighty, then I reckon it’s good enough for us!

I realize what I’m proposing ain’t so simple to accomplish, from a logistical standpoint anyhow, but it ain’t like the world’s never seen this before!

Being a mere woman – therefore incapable of understanding complicated concepts - I’ll leave it to the menfolk of the GOP to construct the architecture of the coming American Holocaust, but I got a special insight into the evildoers residing within our erstwhile Eden.

Accordingly, I offer the following for liquidation:

  • All registered Democrats
No exceptions!

Not even for any folks out there who registered Democrat “ironically”!

Democrats is like a cancer on America, and we got to excise it completely! Unfortunately, that means we can’t take no chances on anybody! They go straight to the concentration camps!

  • Independents
I declare, I think this here is the group I loathe the most!

They don’t even got the backbone to declare they loyalties! Rather than join us Republicans in saving America, they’re content to sit on the sidelines and watch as the Democrats DESTROY it!

  • Libertarians
To include this here class pains me, seeing as they views on economics so closely match the GOP’s, but I’m afraid they dependence on the ATHEIST Ayn Rand negates their right to remain among the living in America.


  • Illegal immigrants
Considering what done been discussed by the GOP the last few years [HERE], is there really any need for ol’ Norma Jean to elaborate?

As a plus, the good folks in Arizona – with the help of Sheriff Joe Arpaio [HERE– have already undertaken the necessary first steps for instituting genocide: harassment, dehumanization, and refusal to respect “civil rights!”

They is a few folks what will need some special consideration:

  • RINO’s
Now I reckon it’s going to be a mite difficult to cull these people from the GOP if for no other reason than they know how to talk the talk, even if’n they ain’t willing to walk the walk.

Seeing as these RINO’s at least were smart enough to register Republican, maybe we ought to allow a proper re-education program for these folks.

Of course, seeing as they wasn’t Republican ENOUGH in the first place, they is all going to have to undergo sterilization; we just cannot risk them polluting the pure bloodlines of TRUE Conservatives.

  • Miscegenated Republicans
They is a few out there, and will be allowed to remain married.

On a related note, miscegenation will henceforth be banned!

Negroes was given the Mark of Ham for a reason, people!

  • Poor Republicans
Any Republican what ain’t paying his fair share of federal income taxes – but reaps outrageous royalties like welfare, Medicaid, or free school lunches - lands squarely within the RINO bracket listed above!

In accordance with their status as RINOs, they are subject to sterilization and re-education.

They children will be monitored until they are 18 years old; if they too ain’t paying they fair share they’ll be sterilized, too.

Do not forget: these people is TAKERS

They has been content to fatten themselves up on MY tax dollars, all the while contributing NOTHING of [VALUE]!

  • Queer Republicans
This here is a false dichotomy. They ain’t no such thing as a homosexual Republican; if somebody who is gay claims to be Republican, they is LYING!

Simple as that.

To the concentration camps they go.

Of course, this list ain’t all inclusive or final, and some fine-tuning is almost certainly in order…but I believe it’s a fine first step.

Anybody else got any suggestions?

-Norma Jean

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Kentucky Constables: the Noblest Breed of All

Hello Children,

I know I likely owe all y’all out there one supersized apology, but for the life of me I just cannot find it within myself to offer it!

Truth of the matter is for the first time in all my 97 years here on God’s green earth, I can empathize with the hopelessness and despair that lovelorn suicides feel as they contemplate an existence bereft of their soul mates! 

This SEXY SHOOTER is guilty...of SEXINESS!
You see children, I've done had my heart ripped out, trampled on, crushed and set afire by a man what might very well be Kentucky’s next governor (he really is THAT charismatic, smart, cunning, and a beauty to behold)!

Out of the respect I feel for this here fine example of a man, I’ll refrain from mentioning him by name – though I’ll give y’all a little hint: I MIGHT have done mentioned him before [HERE], MAYBE he’s a VERY powerful and CHARISMATIC elected official, and he MIGHT’VE found hisself in the news a bit much of late [HERE].

(Or is he [HERE]? Them Constables can be bad boys!)

I ain't saying yes or no, I'm just asking questions [HERE]!

Anyhow, this here large lothario - who shall remain nameless - done got ol Norma Jean all a-titter in thinking that at long last she’d found a man strong enough and REAL American enough to rein her in and tame her voracious sexual appetite, all the while running his thick, rough hands over her soft, supple skin in their marital bed! 

Alas! It weren’t to be!

The good Lord in His wisdom has seen fit to deprive your great memaw of a modicum of sweet release through the throes of wild passion with a real, honest-to-goodness Adonis!

Once again He done sentenced her to another stretch of self-abuse at the hands of mechanical appliances and/or even miscegenating carnal relations with coloreds (sometimes both simultaneously, though Jesus forgives her trespasses cause she’s a good Christian, and He understands that she is tempted by SATAN every day for her unrivaled piety)! 

Who is that SEXY BEAST
Anyhow, despite DIVINE assurances of a whirlwind romance spanning the furthest reaches of the county and sordid trysts in some of the finest travel inns the city of Frankfort has to offer, I was unceremoniously dumped for a young harlot without so much as a “how do you do?”!

I done lost my plump paramour forever and ever! 

I fear that he is - even now - slowly driving his LAW ENFORCEMENT VEHICLE up and down the street in front of the home of another woman as he "patrols" the area all hours of the day and night!


Well, I been slowly nursing my broken heart back to health, and as an act of closure I’ve decided to dump the final four text messages we exchanged (I done erased the others while in a Lortab/Vesicar- induced rage of carnal frustration): 

UPDATE: Just as I was all set to send this here update for the enjoyment of the intertubes, I done got a new message from my onetime squat seducer: 

Apparently I done been relegated to the “REPLY ALL” list!

Farewell, my gross geriophile! May the Good Lord above someday find it in His heart to return you to me in the Hereafter!

There, with my fertility renewed, you and I will consummate our love and I will bear many sons - all bearing your noble bearing, rapier wit, and cutting intellect!

In Heaven will I coronate you – in the negro vernacular - my “Baby Daddy”! 

-Norma Jean

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I Fought Obama's Death Panels - and Whooped Em Good!


Hello Children,

Despite the best efforts of "President" Barack HUSSEIN Obama and his Hitler [Youth Army], I live to fight another day!

If'n you recall [HERE], me and Edna was about to put in our feet in a HUMBLE PIE and serve it up to the LibTARDS what believe carbon dioxide is anything but a harmless (nay, HEALTHY even) gas!

Can y'all believe that load of horseshit?!

They is actually Libs out there DUMB enough to believe that REAL Americans - like [Brother Rick Santorum] and [Sister Michele Bachmann] - don't know what they is talking about when they say they ain't no such thing as TOO MUCH CO2!

(Course, you got to be a Goddamn stupid retard to believe HALF of what Libs say about ANYTHING! lol!)

Anyhow, after Sister Edna and Dr. Swaggert left last night, apparently some of BARRY SOETORO's [hoodie-wearing] negro ASSASSINS - afeard my experiment would prove to the world just what LIES are spread about CO2, and thus yet one more nail in the coffin of the GLOBAL WARMING HOAX - teleported onto the McCoy Estate via Area 51! *

Once stealthily ensconced within the servants' quarters, said negro ASSASSIN replaced the HARMLESS and NATURAL carbon dioxide - then being used for the experiment within the hyperbaric chamber - with poison gas!

Fortunately for ol' Norma Jean, her favorite great-granddaughter (thank you, Grismeldina hon! They'll be a little extra something in YOUR inheritance) showed up just in the nick of time to call a ambulance!

Strangely, when me and Edna later was looking over the records of the experiment, they wasn't no interruption of CO2 inflow (it read at 65.50% when I was broke out)...but all THAT proves is that the attempted ASSASSIN was a pagan NEGRO; who else but a darkie would be so skilled at breaking and entering yet prove invisible in the dark?

Sometime between then and now, OBONGO must have authorized another infiltration to retrieve the POISON GAS, cause they wasn't nothing but CO2 bottles left when we got back.

There just ain't no other way to explain why I was so near death except SECRET POISON GAS DEVELOPED BY OBAMA'S NEGRO GENOCIDE SQUADS SPECIFICALLY TO KILL WHITE Brother Rick and Sister Michele have so eloquently pointed out before [HERE] there ain't NO - and I mean NO - deleterious effects to excess CO2!

That ain't to say that ol' Norma Jean escaped unscathed!

According to the doctor (a WHITE doctor, praise Jesus!),  I done suffered a minor stroke what has affected my speech! 

That's got me a mite down in the mouth (pun intended, I reckon), but I look upon that as a small price to pay as a Warrior for Christ! 

I will accept my new speech impediment as a BADGE OF HONOR

Just as soldiers returning home from war with TERRORISTS may suffer disfiguring injuries and debilitating brain injuries, so I - after battling with EVIL itself in the form of LIBERAL LIES - must now work to return to prime fighting trim to serve Almighty God!

Please do not look upon me as a hero; I am merely doing my job as a good Christian to DISPROVE what "science" has supposedly PROVEN!

 I would like to ask for your prayers though, children; the Great Satan (AKA Barack HUSSEIN Obama) will never rest in his quest to DESTROY CHRISTIANITY through any means necessary, including murdering me!

-Norma Jean
P.S. I thank Jesus every day that He seen fit to birth me here in America, the GREATEST country EVER with the best health care system EVER!
I shudder to think what would have happened had we adopted a UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE system like Canada or - God forbid - England!
Can you imagine what is must be like to wait for WEEKS or even MONTHS to treat a stroke or heart attack?!
Thank you, PATRIOT Rush Limbaugh, for your DEMOLITION of EVIL [HERE]!

*I imagine it was probably using technology developed during the Philadelphia Experiment!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Lies that Liberals Love: Carbon Dioxide "Dangers"

Hello Children,

Special Delivery!
Prepare all ye mortals to bear witness as ol Norma Jean once again serves the WHORE OF BABYLON (AKA science) a humongous heaping helping of humble pie, seasoned with a SUPERSIZED order of CROW!

Unless you're some kind of retard (i.e. a LIBERAL ) you probably done come across the Liberal LAMESTREAM MEDIA attacks on fellow REAL American, Brother Rick Santorum when he made the 100% accurate claim that carbon dioxide ain't nothing you got to worry your pretty little head about - specifically [HERE]
“The dangers of carbon dioxide? Tell that to a plant, how dangerous carbon dioxide is.”
Not that this is the first time that DEMONIC "journalists" have decided to wield their SATANIC powers of "journalism" to "journal" against another REAL American, Rep. Michele Bachmann [HERE]:
"Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas."
So now we come to the crux of this here debate: who can I trust?

Do I listen to the OPINIONS of "scientists" and "experts" (a whole mess of FOOLS what got INDOCTRINATED by PUBLIC schools and DEMONIC universities) who tell me that carbon dioxide is a dangerous gas [HERE]?

Or do I listen to the iron-clad logic and incontrovertible FACTS of PATRIOTIC politicians who are direct conduits to Jesus Christ Hisself and who ain't never had their intellect TAINTED with COMMUNIST book-learning such as [HERE]!

You been PWND, LibTARDS!

Me and Edna!
So to bring this here "debate" (though really, it's only a debate if'n one side has a reasonable argument, which AIN'T the case here!) to a close once and for all, ol' Norma Jean is going to shame you DEMONcrats with some cold, hard FACTS that not even you idjits can disagree with!

Over the past week, I done had a [hyperbaric chamber] installed on the servants' quarters of the McCoy Estates, and have opted to enter it with the intent of replacing the air inside with 100% carbon dioxide!

Me and Dr. Swaggert in Prep!
My good friend and fellow [Liberty University] alum Zachariah Swaggert VII, Ph.D (homeopathy) has been kind enough to volunteer his services on the VERY, VERY remote possibility that I'll have some kind of adverse reaction to oxygen deprivation (LOL! I'll be breathing carbon dioxide, a NATURAL and HARMLESS gas!).

Now my computing machine has had only intermittent access to the intertubes while inside the hyperbaric chamber, so I done asked my cousin Edna Rosencratz to take over posting duties for the duration of the experiment and I'll text her my status through our cellular telephony devices!

So without further ado, follow along as we prove that Libs ain't nothing but the dumbest, most gullible fools on the planet!

-Norma Jean
Continue reading below, y'all:

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Rape: When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade!

Hello Children,

Well, I Suwannee!

Apparently, they ain't no limit to what depths FEMI-NAZIS are willing to stoop so as to offend good Christian folks and other REAL Americans! 

This here news may be just a mite behind, but I reckoned it dovetailed right nice into the main topic of today's post; courtesy the Christ-hating Blag Hag [HERE]: 

Republicans have gone a long time attempting to hide their motivations for being against contraceptives and abortion. But as the debates ramp up, their true colors are becoming more and more obvious. For example, take the discussion surrounding Virginia’s disgusting ultrasound bill (emphasis mine):
This week, the Virginia state Legislature passed a bill that would require women to have an ultrasound before they may have an abortion. Because the great majority of abortions occur during the first 12 weeks, that means most women will be forced to have a transvaginal procedure, in which a probe is inserted into the vagina, and then moved around until an ultrasound image is produced. Since a proposed amendment to the bill—a provision that would have had the patient consent to this bodily intrusion or allowed the physician to opt not to do the vaginal ultrasound—failed on 64-34 vote, the law provides that women seeking an abortion in Virginia will be forcibly penetrated for no medical reason. I am not the first person to note that under any other set of facts, that would constitute rape under state law.
[...]During the floor debate on Tuesday, Del. C. Todd Gilbert announced that “in the vast majority of these cases, these [abortions] are matters of lifestyle convenience.” (He has since apologized.) Virginia Democrat Rep. David Englin, who opposes the bill, has said Gilbert’s statement “is in line with previous Republican comments on the issue,” recalling one conversation with a GOP lawmaker who told him that women had already made the decision to be “vaginally penetrated when they got pregnant.” (I confirmed with Englin that this quote was accurate.)
That’s the same logic that animates the bill’s sponsor in the House of Delegates, Del. Kathy J. Byron, who insisted this week that, “if we want to talk about invasiveness, there’s nothing more invasive than the procedure that she is about to have.” Decoded, that means that if you are willing to submit to sex and/or an abortion, the state should be allowed to penetrate your body as well.
Santorum’s main donor puts it a little more crassly:
Appearing of MSNBC with Andrea Mitchell today, Foster Friess, the main donor to the Super PAC backing Rick Santorum’s presidential bid, dismissed the controversy surrounding President Obama’s new birth control rule by suggesting that women should just keep their legs shut. Asked if he worried that Santorum’s Puritanical views on sex and social issues could hurt the candidate in the general election, Friess offered a more home-spun family planning scheme:
FRIESS: On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Baer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.
That’s the real reason Republicans care about restricting access to birth control and abortions. It has nothing to do with religious beliefs or concerns about the lives of cute little babies. It’s about punishing sluts.
How else can you reconcile the platforms of anti-choicers? If you truly were against abortion, you would be fighting desperately for comprehensive sex education and easy access to contraceptives – things that actually reduce abortions. If you truly thought abortion was murder, you would never make exceptions for cases of rape or incest. If you truly were concerned with women’s health, you wouldn’t use HPV statistics to scaremonger young girls about sex while simultaneously fighting against a vaccine. If you truly were pro-life, you’d want improved child care, education, and family leave instead of losing interest in someone once they pop out of the womb.
It’s simple. These people want you to catch STDs and have unwanted children, because you’re a dirty slut who deserves punishment. And they love babies so much that the punishment is babies.
It's funny cause she's just ASKING for it!
By the by, when did it become proper etiquette for womenfolk to discuss carnal relations or their womanhood-related health issues in mixed company?!

Back in the day, a LADY wouldn't NEVER speak to no GENTLEMAN about her lady-bits - or ANY of their related functions - lest he was her doctor AND she was birthing a baby! * 

Anyhow, Jen apparently ain't possessing of any such predilection as evidenced by her repeated use of the word "rape."

Course, gauche conversation ain't limited to female LIEberal filth; just take a look at what my ol' [nemesis] got to say [HERE]:
You know, when I saw reports that Rick Santorum had answered a question about rape and abortion and his daughter, my first reaction was “meh.” But then I saw the actual quote. It’s one thing to say that a woman should make the choice to carry and deliver a baby conceived by rape; it’s another thing to claim that they should accept it as a gift from God.
SANTORUM: Well, you can make the argument that if she doesn’t have this baby, if she kills her child, that that, too, could ruin her life. And this is not an easy choice. I understand that. As horrible as the way that that son or daughter and son was created, it still is her child. And whether she has that child or doesn’t, it will always be her child. And she will always know that. And so to embrace her and to love her and to support her and get her through this very difficult time, I’ve always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you. As you know, we have to, in lots of different aspects of our life. We have horrible things happen. I can’t think of anything more horrible. But, nevertheless, we have to make the best out of a bad situation.
I have long believed that the Christian conception of god was incoherent and barbaric, but a god that gives women the “gift” of a baby from a rape? With gods like that, who needs devils?
First off, just what in Sam Hill is so offensive in Godly Rick Santorum's assertion that all babies - even "rape" babies - are BLESSINGS?! Us women was created by the good Lord to be nothing but vessels for our husbands' (ideally) seed; as such we should look upon EVERY pregnancy as fulfilling our duty to Him, regardless of the source or of the cost to our wealth OR health!

Which brings me to the reason for posting today.
Way back when, the now defunct (a CRIME I explore more [HERE]) Baptists for Brown 2008 (AKA Republican Faith Chat), quite elegantly created an alternative, more sterile term for "rape": Unplanned Sexual Event (USE) 
Sam Brownback - “Rape is terrible. Rape is awful. Is it made any better by killing an innocent child? Does it solve the problem for the woman that’s been raped?” No!

Sam Brownback - “We need to protect innocent life. Period.” Amen! And at any cost.

Sam Brownback is was the inspiration for this grassroots campaign called, “Cry USE not RAPE”. We have concluded that the acronym U.S.E. (Unplanned Sexual Event), when used regularly to replace the word “rape”, will remove the stigma associated with this sometimes unpleasant situation.   It is our mission to protect the innocent lives of the babies that are part of His plan and eliminate the excuses given by many women when a precious baby just isn’t convienient.
Dadblame FEMI-NAZI Nonsense!
This here serves several purposes: it can refer to a Bible-sanctioned liaison between a husband and wife; it softens the blow for them very very very RARE times a GOOD Christian woman is taken against her will (usually at the hands of an inferior race); it provides a nice "out" for them harlots what inflamed a man's passion to such an extent that he couldn't control himself with her...i.e. she was USE'd.

But best of all, it ain't neither offensive nor embarrassing for me to use!

Go on, y'all; give it a whirl! You'll see that it fits every situation:
  • "My husband done USE'd me but good Saturday!"
  • "I couldn't believe it! Wilma got USE'd yesterday by her negro gardener!"
  • "Did y'all hear about Luanne? The poor girl found herself USE'd behind Burger King last week!"
You see?

With God as my witness, us Republicans will shrink government so much it WILL find its way into your uterus!

-Norma Jean
* Obviously, an exception has got to be made for ol' Norma Jean! I only discuss my sexual experiences (for which I receive forgiveness from Yahweh EVERY TIME! Praise Jesus!) to highlight just how easily Beelzebub - that old demon - can tempt even as superior a Christian as me!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Change: A Scary Proposition



Hello Children,

Just in case you're some sort of RETARD, you ought know by now that ol' Norma Jean is one true, dyed-in-the-wool REPUBLICAN!

And us Republicans, well we ain't afeard of one:
Now I ain't talking about "President" Barack HUSSEIN Obama's promise of CHANGE (though that is scary, too, what with all him spurting out great globs of ENTITLEMENTS everywhere straight from his giant SOCIALISM cornholer!!!), but change in general.

Change brings with it uncertainty, ambiguity, incertitude; and as anyone what has ever spoke with a Republican can tell you, they ain't NOTHING we loathe more than ANYTHING what can't be set in black and white!

The status quo ought never be disturbed!

If'n I have to stop and THINK about whether something is either GOOD or EVIL, the TERRORISTS win!
I should be able to tell you whether something is good based strictly on what my [GUT] tells me IMMEDIATELY, cause that how our Lord and Savior communicates to us!

That's why George W. Bush (the best president EVER) was so successful in EVERY SINGLE endeavor he done undertook!

That and because he did not shut out Yahweh when He chose to [SPEAK TO HIM]!

Anyhow, what I'm trying to tell y'all is that while change can be scary, it sometimes is necessary (though only in VERY rare circumstances and under VERY specific conditions).

And so it is today that us REAL Americans here at the Good Kentuckian relate to our loyal readership that - effective immediately - this here blog shall fall under the purview of the newly created Southern Genteel Ladies Conference!

We feel this better reflects this blog's contributors, as we all ain't necessarily Kentuckians; but we are definitely southern ladies!

(Or honorary southern ladies anyhow, such as in the case of my good friend [Sister Harriet Miers] or - should she be found conscious or sober - [Sister June Gordon]! )

Now y'all don't need to fear none about no change in content!

We will still address local concerns, such as coverage of my good friend, animal advocate [Saint Jeanine Sloan] in her crusade to destroy Franklin County's homeless pet population!

But you can still expect hard-hitting articles on national issues, like the coming [Apocalypse] foretold by the pagan Mayans.

Finally and most important of all, we'll bring y'all any future installments of the [Liz Cheney/Dick Cheney incest] saga; reports from Republican-approved [brothels]; and only the best Conservative [pornography]!

After all, ain't that what the GOP is all about?

-Norma Jean